In 1992, I was standing in line waiting for the PE coach to pair me with one of the guys in my class. We were going to square dance. I really hoped to be paired with Jason or Brad, the "hot" guys in our grade. I was supremely disappointed when I was assigned to dance with a short, skinny malcontent. He, of course, refused to actually dance and since I was considerable bigger than him, I swung him around the circle in my best effort to participate in the class. Strangely, we hit it off, or rather, I sat with him and talked to (at) him and he didn't stop me.
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| Wes & Jen 1994 |
One of the first conversations we had began with me asking if he'd heard Smells Like Teen Spirit by that new band Nirvana. The pre-hipster he was, he informed me that Nirvana was not new and Nevermind was not their first album and that he was familiar with their previous work. I was smitten. Annoyed and smitten.
My unrelenting attention finally wore him down and Wes become my best friend. He was everything to me, except a boy. I was everything to him, but available. That would change.
Wes' best friend set him up for a New Years Eve date. I was hanging out with my friends, so I didn't care, or at least I thought I didn't. The next afternoon I called to profess my love for him. I was so afraid I'd lose him to this new girl. It turns out that the girl was nuts and I was safe anyway, but now we were official.
We were young and in love and not very careful. I ended up pregnant.
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| Wes and newborn Kirk |
We had a precious little boy that we named after Wes and his father and grandfather. His family had a tradition of naming kids after relatives and I was okay with that. He wanted to use Reed in honor of his grandfather or Kirk in honor of his both his grandfather and his father. I preferred Kirk. My husband's name is James Wesley, so I suggested using James. In 1995, James Kirk was born. We had spent so much time choosing a family name that we didn't realize what we had done until a family friend asked "Are you big Star Trek fans?" So, our son shares a name with Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise. We are very okay with that.
In 1997, Wes and I finally married. We were young and dumb and basically had zero life experience. I imagine most young newlyweds are like that. We both worked and just barely covered our bills. It was tough, but we did it. I have no idea how, but we did.
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| June 1997 |
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| Wes and Aaron |
In our first two years of marriage, we completed our family with the birth of Aaron Scott (1998) and Marilyn Anne (1999). We kept the tradition of family names. Scott is my father's middle name and his mother's maiden name. Marilyn is for my maternal grandmother and Anne is for Anne of Green Gables in honor of my bibliophile, mom.
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| My father-in-law with Anne |
Then in 2000, Wes announced that he wanted to move to Los Angeles and work on Spiderman. His dream had been to work in special effects. Over the years he'd made multiple life casts of me and done more makeups on me that I can remember. He had a portfolio of his molds and makeups and wanted to give it a shot, so we did. We packed up everything and moved to a studio apartment on Sepulveda Blvd in Van Nuys, CA. Wes got a job working in the mold shop on Spiderman and we moved to a two bedroom apartment in Lancaster, CA. We had nothing. We had a camp chair and a tv in the living room and a futon in the bed room. That year we ate Thanksgiving dinner on a table cloth on the floor. It sounds terrible, but those were great times.
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| Vasquez Rocks 2001 |
We spent all our spare time together exploring Southern California. We got lost in the Devil's Punchbowl and we spent many weekends hiking around the Vasquez Rocks Park. We lived in a walkable community, so the kids and I frequented our local library and borrowed videos to watch together. We were able to get annual passes to Universal Studios, so we took the kids there regularly and, of course, we went to the beach. Our kids still think of themselves as being from Los Angeles.
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| We made a side trip to the Grand Canyon |
After 9/11 our lives changed. Work began to slow down for Wes. He was home so often, that I got a job to try to make ends meet. Finally after a year, and with pressure from me, Wes decided to move back to Georgia. On the day we left, he got a call to go to work. That stung. I felt like I'd pressured him to give up his dream, but it was too late. We drove home. We both got regular jobs.
Years passed and in 2007, things had gotten bad. Wes and I separated. The kids stayed with me and he eventually moved back to California. He got a job working with Disney Consumer Products and lived in a studio apartment. It wasn't ideal, but it was what we needed. During that year, we both changed and started talking more. I flew out to visit him. It was good. After a while, he quit his job and moved back home.
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| Our daughter took this picture of us |
Our relationship was still strained and we came close to divorce, but we kept working. It was tough. I had faith that we would made it, but my husband was less sure. In 2010, we took a family trip to Walt Disney World. It was significant, but bitter sweet. I can still still remember the feeling that this could be our last trip together as a family. There was a sadness that weighed on me during that trip. I don't know if it is just me, but I can see it in our eyes in the pictures. There is a shadow over us.
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| The Magic Kingdom 2014 |
I can't really describe what happened in those years, but slowly, with work, patience, and forgiveness, we began to really heal. Four years later, we took another trip to the Happiest Place on Earth. This time was a true celebration. The film industry had moved to Georgia in a big way and Wes was back to doing the kind of work we thought he had given up when we moved away from California so may years ago. Our marriage was stronger than ever and it was obvious to everyone around us. It was such a wonderful trip. It was a great family experience and we left with so many wonderful memories!
We have gotten pretty damn good at being married and our relationship is stronger than ever. We are also more in love than I could have imagined. Last year we bought our first house and are working together to make it ours. This year, we celebrated our 20th Wedding Anniversary. We earned this!
We celebrated with a trip to Universal Studios Orlando to visit The Wizarding World of Harry Potter.
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| Check out my wand! |
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| Nibbling Wes' beard |
We actually called it our 20/40 celebration because Wes and I will both turn 40 this year and we wanted to celebrate our way.
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| The Knight Bus |
Twenty years have passed and I feel like this is just the beginning. I know we will still have good time and bad times, but I know that no matter what we go through, we can make it through anything together.
Happy Anniversary, Wes! I love you!
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| The love of my life |
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